


The Person I Choose (Don't You Know Emma? It's You.)

by lexisclassy



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Behind the Scenes, F/M, Multi, Reality TV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:45:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexisclassy/pseuds/lexisclassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan, super producer extraordinaire, was returning to yet another season of the hit reality show Once Upon a Time. A dating show in which a considerably large flock of girls vie for the affections of a single man. Y’know because it’s obvious that love is something to be shared between one man and 27 women.</p><p>Killian is only doing this bloody show to get some good PR for his new record label after that messy affair he got into with Milah Gold ruined his reputation... That is until he meets Emma Swan</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We're Selling 'Happily Ever After'

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Alright so in this reality, the tv show /Once upon a time/ is basically the bachelor just incase I don’t make that clear. Emma is one of the show runners and killian is ‘the bachelor’ and with that I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> BTW: This is my first fic, so please COMMENT I REALLY need the feedback!

Emma

Emma Swan, super producer extraordinaire, was returning to yet another season of the hit reality show _Once Upon a Time_. A dating show in which a considerably large flock of girls vie for the affections of a single man. Y’know because it’s obvious that love is something to be shared between one man and 27 women.

The thought made her scoff. She was currently lying on the ground of limousine 3 with her head resting on the floor between the parted feet of her personal pick to win, Elsa. She was hiding from the camera’s line of sight, hoping to avoid upsetting her vengeful boss by ruining valuable footage.

Her ear piece squawked to life with the voice of her boss the one and only Regina Mills, “ _MIsss SWAaaaAAn_ ,” she called, “Why the _Hell_  aren’t my girls here?”

She pulled the tiny microphone to her dry lips, “Yeah umm we got caught in some traffic on the way back from the airport,” Emma confessed as she scratched sheepishly at the messy knot of golden locks resting atop her head.

“Well I don’t give a shit what kind of traffic you got into; I want you to take a fucking lesson from the road runner and meep meep your asses over here. _Now!_ Do I make myself clear?” Regina barked.

Emma let out a sigh, _God, kill me now,_ she thought picking up the microphone again “Copy that your majesty”

“Hey! You there with your head between the ice queen’s legs,” Zelena the red head to her left drawled, her British accent becoming slightly thicker with each glass of champagne, she pointed the freshly emptied flute at Emma.

Emma flinched away from the stray drop that landed on her cheek. “What?” the producer asked rolling her head to look at the buzzed contestant.

“I have to pee, could we stop somewhere with a toilet?” Zelena explained, shifting in her seat to illustrate her discomfort.

“I would like to use the restroom as well.” Elsa chimed looking down at the floor between her spread legs to meet Emma’s eyes.

“I need to go too,” Mulan, asked peeking around Elsa’s knee.

“We’re already late enough as is, but what I _can_ do since we’re getting so close is show you who the suitor is,” she said tugging the glossy headshot free from her bag. “His name is Killian jones and he is the heir to his family’s record company the multibillion dollar company jewel records”

The picture was quickly plucked from her hands and the girls began to chatter excitedly amongst themselves she hears a flurry of things like: ‘ _ohmigod! Look at those eyes!’_ , _‘I wonder what the rest of him looks like’_ , and _‘goodness! That smile could melt a girl’s heart’._

Emma let out a sigh and stared out the open sun roof watching the starry night sky. _This can’t be all there is to life._

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_Killian_

Killian fought the urge to groan as the first carriage of girls arrived. _Gods, just kill me now_ he thought as he plastered the most believable smile he could muster across his face.

“So Killian, are you nervous?” the host, the ever-charming David Nolan asked him as the first carriage pulled up.

“No not really,” he answered rocking back and forth on his heels “I suppose I’m more so excited than nervous, mate.”

“That’s good to hear, because here they come,” David told him clapping a supportive hand on Killian’s shoulder.

 _How did it come to this?_ He thought as the first girl stepped out. It’s not that she wasn’t attractive. She was. She had long, _long,_ dark hair styled into some elaborate system of braids, and skin the color of warm mocha. Her smile was sweet as she extended her hand for him to take. “Hello I’m Rapunzel, but you can call me Zella”

“Very well, Zella, It’s a pleasure to meet you,” He went to press a chaste kiss on the top of her hand only to her all of the staff yelling ‘Cut!’

 _What the devil is going on?_   He thought looking around.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _Regina_

 “So who the fuck’s Idea was she?” Regina looked around the from producer to producer“Was it you? She asked her eyes narrowing in Ingrid’s direction.

 The blonde held her hands up as if to say ‘it wasn’t me.’

“It was me,” August told the angry woman from his seat across the room. His bravery was met by a pen flying at his face. “What’s the big deal!? She’s gorgeous, she’s educated She’s—"

“Black.”

“Regina, it is 2015, and there is a black man in the white house

“What?” Regina gasped in mock shock “We do? No shit August. First girl is always supposed to be a wifey, and after you’ve been on this show for as long as I have, you pick up a few things. One thing that I have noticed is that America isn’t a fan of the swirl.”  She shrugged "It's  not my fault America's Racist." She then pointed at the screen showing the confused suitor. “Now if British McTightcheeks goes out and decides that he’s craving chocolate I will be the first to apologize, but until then we go based off what has happened in past seasons,” Regina walked over to his desk and met his eyes with her own icy gaze, “So, bring me. A different. Girl.”

August bit back his desire to argue the point any farther, and simply replied with a curt ‘fine’.

Regina looked back at the screen  and pulled out her walkie talkie   “ AND, For the love of all that is holy somebody tell captain guyliner over there to perk up or be prepared to lose the other hand, We're trying to sell these Idiots 'Happily Ever After' Does he look happy to you? No! so fix it" On the screen Killian lifted his good hand with his middle finger extended at full mast. “Yeah fuck you too buddy. Just shut up and be a good meat puppet,” Regina grumbled under her breath.

 

 The door creaked open and the person who stepped inside was a young girl with golden hair, “Hi Ms. Mills, I’m you’re new assistant Cindy,” She stammered looking down at her clipboard to avoid Regina’s Killer Glar

“Well, what is it?” Regina ‘asked’ crossing her arms and arching one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows.

 

“M-Mister Loxley would like to see you,” the teen stammered knuckles turning white with what Regina hoped was fear.

 “Of course he would,” she said setting down her walkie talkie and heading out of the room.


	2. Well, I take you’re not one of the contestants

**_Emma_ **

Sweet relief washed over Emma as the limousine pulled up to the manor. Her spine let out a loud crack in protest as she sat herself up. 

“Alright ladies, I’m going to need you to give me your phones."

This earned her a chorus of groans from the limo of now dissatisfied pageant queens.

“I know, I know,” She spoke plucking the phones from the girls’ hands one by one. First was Ruby, the swimsuit model, ”your lives” then came Mal, the sexy MILF, followed by Mulan, the soldier ”They’re just sooo hard,” Elsa, the ice queen lawyer, and last but certainly not least Zelena who was chalking herself up to be this season’s villain.

Phone clutched to her chest, the redhead scoffed in disbelief “You’re joking right?” She asked.

“I’m really not,” Emma answered performing a ‘hand it over’ gesture with her outstretched hand

Her voice came out as a shrill whine, “But this is mine, you can’t just take it!". The urge to roll her her eyes dawned on emma, but she fought it… _T_ _his girl can’t be serious._

“You signed the contract, so actually,” She paused and took in a pointed breath as if you say ‘sucks for you’ “I can. Now, give me the phone, and I promise I’ll give it back when you’re time here is up.” She hoped gripping at air again would drive her point across, which was that this idiot needed to hand her the freaking phone

 “You don’t want to see me without my phone for 8 weeks,” warned Zelena pointing at the blonde producer.

Emma's patience was wearing thin.

“Only if you’re lucky. One night if you’re not.” Emma corrected having the feeling it would be the latter of the red head’s two options. She had to literally pry the girl’s fingers off the damn thing to get it away from her.

 _This really shouldn’t have been that difficult,_ she thought escaping from the crowded vehicle. Her long arms stretched out as far as they would go. She took a moment to relish in the moment of finally having a little personal space.

“Hey um Emma? What about the bath--” a voice, possibly elsa's, drifted up from the still open car door.

 She popped her head back in the limo to address the girls “Do not step one foot outside of this vehicle. Do I make myself clear?” 

Leaning back out she slammed the door shut. Her attention quickly turned to the young girl walking over to greet her.

 “Hi miss Swan, I’m Cindy, and can I j--”

“Cindy, Great! Alright, listen I need you to make sure none of these girls leave the car,” Emma told her before rushing off in the direction of the set, hoping to avoid the full force of Regina’s wrath by not being _too_ late.

 ----------------------------------------

**_Regina_ **

Regina pushed the contents that cluttered her desk onto the floor with one large sweep of her arm. Pens, pencils, papers and a now shattered vase scattered across the room in a cacophony of sound. Her hands were desperate as she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.

Robin pressed searing kisses from the base of her jaw to the crook of her neck. A gasp escaped he lips as he nipped her skin. Her legs wrapped around her waist in an attempt to pull him closer. She ground her hips against his hardened length through their clothes trying to appease the needier parts of her body that craved attention _why were they wearing so many clothes_ “We have to make this quick” she struggled, her voice breathy as she faced Robin’s dizzying barrage of kisses. Robin pulled away from her neck confused.  “Don’t,” she warned “I’ve got a show to run,” she added with a simple shrug “plus, I’ve got this boss who’s got such a tight ass—“

“I thought the expression was ‘is a tight ass’”

“Well that too,”

“My tight ass and I choose to take that as a compliment then,”

Regina laughed before sealing their lips in yet another fiery kiss. Her manicured hands slid up along the solid planes of his chest as she moved her arms to wrap around his neck. While his hands grazed along her welcoming hips to find their final resting place on her bottom. She could feel the need bubbling inside the pit of her stomach.

That is until her phone rang.

Disappointment mixed itself into the overwhelming sense of lust she felt. She groaned to illustrate her frustration as her long legs unwound themselves from her lover’s hips. Regina touched her drastically overpriced shoes to the floor and stood. Their lips pressed together in one last lingering kiss before walking past him and back out to the set.

Her voice was low and threatening as she answered the phone, “This better be good, or so help me God, all the king's horses and all the king's me won’t be able to put you together again by the time I’m done with you. What do you want?”

“Limo 3 just arrived” August informed her.

 “That’s it?” Regina barked back into the phone, quickly glancing back to her office where she could see a dejected robin pulling his shirt back on through the window.

“No, it’s not just that; we have a bit of a situation…”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Emma_ **

Her feet felt heavy as she walked through the crowded pathway avoiding the judgmental stares and whispers of her fellow crew members. She had expected that. What else _could_ be expected after what she did?

What she didn’t expect was that they'd have the steadicam filming her ‘grand’ entrance. It was humiliating.

At first she tried to duck free from the view of its lens, but she quickly realized that her efforts were futile. “Do we really need to be filming this?” she asked the camera knowing already whose idea it was. “Yeah that’s right Crazy’s back,” she called out to the surrounding people. "Don't everyone rush to hug me at once."

Red hot embarrassment plagued itself across her cheeks. They didn’t need to film her like she was some kind of side show freak…  Okay, so maybe she had a nervous breakdown last season. It’s not like she was the first crew member to ever have one.

 She squared her shoulders and marched forward into the producers den.

The room was cluttered with filming equipment. Monitors, Storyboards, computers, sound equipment, and anything else you'd need to produce a successful dating show. 

“Welcome back miss Swan.” Regina greeted, a smug smile resting on her painted lips.

“Nice touch with cameras," was Emma's sarcastic reply. This merely made her boss chuckle.

August was the next to welcome her. He gave her a warm hug “Well look what the cat dragged in: a little jail bird,” he teased. She had to admit it was nice to have at least _one_ person who was happy to see her.

“It was probation not Prison, and I’m still doing community service while I wait for on the trial for the civil charges,” Emma replied shrugging out of his hug, keeping true to her ‘prickly’ disposition.

“So you’re the mystery freelancer Regina brought in for this season. You’re the one that did the pick up on the last of my girls?” Ingrid asked.

This confused Emma, “You’re girls? Nobody told me that they were--”

“Yeah they’re not Ingrid’s girls, they’re yours,” Regina cut in. She then turned her attention back to Ingrid “Maybe, if you could have gotten the MILF and the Lawyer to sign off on the Contracts sooner they would have been your girls, but you couldn’t, so I sent Emma to do it and she did. So she’s the one who gets them… you have other girls. Tonight I want you floating. If you’re lucky you might be able to turn one of those sorry excuses into a Dark Horse.”

Regina walked over, and caught the Blondes elbow. “Come with me,” She whispered before steering her out of the room.

Stumbling behind Regina's determined steps Emma spoke.“Where are you taking me?” She asked.

 “Are you okay?” Regina asked steamrolling over Emma's initial question “How are you feeling?” 

 _Ah, how she’d missed being ignored like this_.

“Well I mean I feel as good as can be expected it’s just a bit surreal being here again. y’know? Regina What’s--”

“That’s good, listen there’s something I need you to do and,” She paused and looked at her surrounding set. Her statement quickly turned into yet another order for the crew, “For the love of all things holy, where the hell are my roses?! I should see petals covering every inch of this god forsaken place, and we need _at least_ twice as many candles, and twinkly lights lots of twinkly tights. It needs more romance people!”

Emma took this brief distraction as an opportunity to hedge her way back into the conversation “Regina, listen, I’m ready to do what I can, but I need to talk about some of the conditions of my sentencing…and--” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah sentencing, listen Emma,” She continued completely disregarding Emma’s attempt at joining the conversation, “I need you to go out and find our suitor.” She told her releasing her grip on Emma’s arm, and continuing on her path.

“What?” Not 100 percent sure she had heard Regina correctly, Emma followed her.

Her answer was short and extremely unhelpful, “Killian, He ran off."

“What do you mean he ran off?” Emma asked clearly hoping for more of an explanation.

“I mean, his royal majesty Killian Jones Has decided that he doesn’t want to be the suitor anymore,” She said again adding that wonderful sprinkle of sarcasm that made the moment all the more special.

“So? You have a contract? Just tell him tough shit” Emma supplied hoping to stop the problem before it snowballed.

“Yes, we do have a contract. The thing is...he hasn’t signed it yet,” She admitted still not bothering to look back at Emma who was currently dumbstruck

“You-you filmed him without a contract?” She stammered in disbelief.

Regina's reply was for lack of a better term dismissive,“He was talking with his lawyers in England.”

“So basically, you’re telling me I have no leverage...How the Hell do you expect me to--”

She finally stopped and turned to face Emma, “Look Emma, I don’t really care about the how, just do. Do your job and get it done,” Regina clapped a supportive hand on Emma’s shoulder, and gave her a plastic smile that screamed ‘if you don’t do as I say you will regret it’ “Good to have you back.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Killian_ **

_What have I gotten myself into?_  killian thought to himself as he stomped off of the set. He wasn’t a bloody show pony, and he’d be damned if he was going to let them treat him like he was one. Pulling out his flask, he located a comfortable looking rock along the shore and sat himself down on it. Rum burned its way down his throat as he took a large swig from the container hoping a drink would clear his mind of this bloody circus. Rebuilding one's image can't be that hard, he'd just have to find another way to do it.

“Killian?”

The voice pulled his attention from the horizon. _Lovely_ , he thought.

“Sorry to disappoint love, but I’m afraid I’m not the prince you were hopin…” Killian started turning to face the voice’s owner. His words died off when his eyes met hers. She was rather beautiful… in a ‘one  flew over the cukoo’s’ nest kind of way. She had fair skin and long golden hair that was yanked in to a messy knot atop her head. He wanted to say something flirtatious and charming, but all that came out was…

“Well…I take it you’re not one of the contestants.”

She laughed. “No, unfortunately not,” _unfortunate indeed_ Killian thought, "I’m Emma, Emma Swan I’m a producer,” She explained slowly walking over to him.

‘Of course you are’ he mumbled under his breath “Well love, you can save your speech for someone actually willing to listen, I’m leaving and you can’t change my mind,” He informed her taking another sip of rum.

Her open her mouth as though she were going to say something to retort, but then her stance quickly deflated as she plopped down next to him “Fair enough, look, it’s just my ass is on the line with my boss.”

“Aye? That Regina Lass? Can’t say I’m surprised,” Killian concluded he then let out a puff of air thinking about the few times he had spoken with the woman in question “She seems like a real piece of work.”

“Hah, you don’t know the half of it! We call her the evil queen.”

“Seems fitting,” Killian noted, offering her his rum.

Emma took it from him gratefully. He felt the faintest brushing of her fingers against the back of his hand, which he had to admit...he enjoyed.

“So Killian, just to appease my own curiosity,” She spoke pulling the flask from her pink lips. “What was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back?” Her delectable lips formed a mischievous smile, “What drove you to the point of fleeing?”

“Surely you’re joking, did you not see that circus? Those _awful_ women that they’ve been introducing me to,” Killian answered not understanding why she would be even the slightest bit surprised by his wanting to leave this mad house behind him.

Instead, she just laughed.

“It’s not funny! Did you know she asked to film me shirtless riding a horse across the beach shouting ‘I’m going to meet my true love tonight!’” Killian divulged further, “It’s bloody ridiculous is what it is.”

This earned him a snort from the amused blonde.

“Quit laughing!” he defended fighting off the chuckle bubbling inside of him; her laugh was infectious. “The least she could have done is asked me to do so while sailing.”

“You’ve seen the show before right?” she asked her laugh dying down now.

“I have, but when I offered to do the show that bloody witch told me it’d be di--”Killian started hoping that this was surely enough to defend his point.

She started laughing again

“Would you please tell me what is so funny?!” He asked.

“I’m sorry, I just never thought you’d be the naïve type Killian,” Emma explained wiping her watering eyes, “then again after that whole Milah scandal--” she starte.

 However, Killian quickly interceded “Don’t bring her into this. You don’t know--you don’t know me and you certainly don’t know her.”

“That’s the thing Killian… I do know you, or at least I know your agenda, and that’s not true love. It’s damage control,” Emma told him knowingly,” The fact is, you screwed up, and pissed off the wrong person. Now nobody is going to join that new label you’re starting up until you Rehab your image and a good way to do that is having your face plastered across _People_ magazine for a few weeks.” She continued to explain. “So tell me Killian, what is it going to take for me to get you to sign the contract straight up?” She asked him.

“I don’t know love I suppose I’ll have to think about it,” He stalled unsure of what his next move would be.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Emma_

Emma could see that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him this way, so she thought on her feet and changed tactics… she lied.

“Y’know what Killian, you don’t need to worry about it. We’ve got a backup guy,” she fibbed pushing herself to stand. Her hands moved to dust off her pants before she headed off in the other direction “Cheers Killian!” she called over her shoulder.

“Swan? There’s a backup guy?” His voice sounded from behind her.

“Yeah, some _doctors without borders_ guy,” she lied through her teeth “he like found a cure for malaria or other disease they get in third world countries,” Emma continued, piling the bullshit higher.

“Really? Malaria is one of my causes. I’d love to meet this bloke,” Killian offered, quick to doubt Emma’s claims of the backup guy.

Emma didn't want to let him see her sweat, so she  kept her back to him. “ummm… yeah,” was her  brilliant reply. 

They walked back to the set.

He hammered the blonde with question after question about the mysterious nonexistent ‘backup guy’ which Emma answered flawlessly. She was now standing under this fabulously fragile system of lies that could tumble down at any second _Oh lord, this better work_.

 Then she saw it, her lifeline. Emma turned around and pressed a warning hand lightly against his chest ( _Did this guy ever button his shirt?)_ causing him to stop in his tracks “Wait here for a second, could you?” She requested.

“Regina!”  She called  desperately hurrying over to her boss whilst trying to remain in ear shot of their awaiting suitor “So, I told Killian about the backup guy.” ‘ _Please play along’_  her mind screamed.

That caught her boss's attention.

“Emma, we don’t have a –“ Her boss started under her breath.

 She looked back at Killian who seemed intent on listening to their conversation. Hoping the other woman would get the picture.

Emma quickly saw the situation register in her boss’s eyes. The brunette chuckled “nice, do you think he bought it?” she whispered.

“I say we walk away and find out,” was her reply.

“Bring out the Back up guy!” Regina commanded, driving their point farther, and sending the crew into a confused frenzy. 

Until they heard the 2 words that stopped everything

_"Swan, wait."_

 


	3. Do something with some shock value

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm sorry I've taken so long to post. It's just that between mid-terms and now final exams, and papers I haven't really had a lot of free time.

**__ **

**_Killian_ **

The fear didn’t really strike Killian until they started walking away. He could only glean bits of their conversation from where he was standing. _Were they serious? Surely they weren’t..._ he thought to himself battling the pit of doubt eating away at him

_But what if they were?_

 “Swan, Wait!”  He called after the retreating producer stopping her in her tracks. He watched her turn to face him

Admitting defeat was something Killian Jones absolutely detested, but that being said he also knew when it was proper to do so.

“Congratulations, you’ve bested me. I can count the amount of people who have done that with one hand,” Killian professed walking over to meet the severe looking women.

The blonde’s emerald eyes narrowed in suspicion. She crossed her arms before speaking “Is that supposed to be funny?”

“I thought it was,” Humor had always been one of his strong suits. “I’ll do it, but any music used in the show this season comes from the bands signed to my label, and one of the dates has to include a live performance from one of them.”

It was interesting watching Regina and Emma interact with each other.  Neither of the women spoke a single word, but they seemed to be having a rather intense conversation with just their facial expressions.

“Tick tock ladies,” He warned tapping his toe impatiently.

Regina the more prickly of the two was first to speak “You’ve got yourself a deal, now get back to set, one-handed wonder. You have a true love to meet.” Her attention then turned to Emma “And you, since you seem to be the limey prick whisperer… it’ll be your job to watch him until we get the contract amended.”

With that, she left and stomped off leaving a trail of terrified staff in her wake.

“She’s charming” he noted. Glancing in Emma’s direction.

Admittedly he was somewhat excited that he’d get to spend more time with Emma. While he’d only spoken a few words with her, he couldn’t deny that there was something about her he liked.

He offered her his arm, “C’mon love, shall we?”

\---------------------------------------------

**_Emma_ **

Their shoulders bumped as she brushed past him completely disregarding his offer. It might have come off as a bit rude, but then again her job wasn’t exactly going to make her any friends. Especially this poor son of a bitch, _might as well nip that at the bud._

With heavy steps that bordered on stomping as she tore her way through the crowd. Not that it was difficult to make it through the people they parted as though she were a leper.

Killian, of course, trailed behind the determined young woman continually trying to make conversation which Emma unsuccessfully tried to deflect with her silence.

 _Could he not help himself?_ She thought trying to ignore his half-hearted flirtations.

“Y’know most men would find your silence off-putting, but I love a challenge,” He informed her. She could practically hear the smile in his voice.

Emma rolled her eyes at him _well if silence won’t work…_ “Save the flirting for the contestants Don Juan, you’re supposed to trick them into falling for the whole ‘charming’ act” maybe reminding him of his position here would.

“Ah! She speaks! And I wasn’t flirting, Love, I was merely making conversation. It seems as though we are going to be spending a lot of time together, so we might as well be friends.”

“I’m not here to make friends and neither are you” was her curt reply.

“I never said you were, and what harm could there be in having one, it’s okay to open up to someone Emma. I think this whole experience would be much more bearable if you did.”

“Because you’re clearly used to women opening themselves to you,” She quipped.

 His tone sounded somewhere offended and amused “What? The playboy thing?  Is that really what’s really bothering you? Well, I guess it’s alright if you don’t want to tell me… you’re something of an open book. I could probably piece it together.”

Emma poised herself to reply, that was until she saw him, Neal, Her Ex.

It felt like she had had the wind knocked out of her. _I’ve gotta get out of here_ she thought. God knows she sure as hell didn’t have it inside her to deal with him now. When it came time for fight of flight to kick in… she chose flight. In a knee-jerk reaction, she whirled around and attempted to head in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately, Killian was a little bit closer that Emma had initially anticipated. Her face crashed into Killlian’s graciously exposed chest hard enough to be knocked off balance. She felt his arms encircle her waist in an attempt to keep her from falling. Her fingers gripped at the lapels of his ridiculously expensive suit jacket in her own feeble attempt to steady herself.

Her wide eyes met his amused blue ones.

“It’s about bloody time!” he teased with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows

Emma opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted the voice of the exact man she was desperately trying to avoid.

“Emma?” Neal asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

 Eyes pinched shut, Emma cursed under her breath before turning her head to look at him. He looked just as scruffy and adorable as she remembered which only made it more difficult for Emma.

“Neal,” she more so stated than greeted as she tried push herself out of Killian’s hold which did not budge.

Her gaze turned back to his which had been colored by the faintest hint of disappointment.

“Don’t give me that look,” she chided nodding her head in the direction of the awaiting bachelorettes “Go meet your princess, Tiger.”

“I thought you were under strict orders from the evil queen to be keeping an eye on little old me? Make sure I don’t get into any more trouble?” Killian asked clearly reluctant to leave her.

“Oh, don’t think I’m taking my eyes off you for a second,” She warned teasingly as he carefully set her upright.

Realizing how close she was to Killian, Emma released her grip on his jacket and stepped away from him only to have one of her hands caught by the charming Brit.

He brushed a feather light kiss on her pallid skin atop her hand.

 “I would despair if you did,” he teased adding a playful wink at the end of his flirtation before heading off in the opposite direction.

Her attention then turned back to Neal

 “Hi,” she greeted awkwardly as she crammed all of her feelings toward him into that deep dark corner of her heart that she hid all possibly damaging emotions.

“Where the Hell have you been, Em?” He asked frustration clear in his tone. “I tried calling you,” he added.

Emma shifted uncomfortably, and avoided his eyes. “Yeah umm…” she started, her mind scrambling for something that would even remotely make sense as to why she hadn’t answered him. However, all she came up with was this: “I was busy, and, um, I didn’t have my phone.”

Not buying into her weak argument Neal replied with an annoyed “Emma, you Shower with your phone.”

“I had stuff I had to deal with,” the blonde offered feebly, trying to avoid the explaining the drama she had caused last season. Desperate to change the subject, Emma decided to ask Neal a question about himself, “So, are you and Tamara back together? I saw her on set”

“Yeah, we are,” He answered his words quickly taking a defensive undertone.

“How ‘bout that,” She commented, her voice becoming sing-songy and playful “working with your giiiiirrrrrrlllfrien--”

“Fiancée,” he interrupted.

“Wait, What?” Clarification, was needed for Emma to believe she had heard him right. _He didn’t just say--_

“She’s my fiancée now” he stated again gauging her reaction “Emma, I tried to call y—“

“No y-y yeah it’s totally fine” Hands waving to dismiss his statement as if she were swatting at an unwanted pest. She most definitely didn’t want to know this. She could feel the sickness bubbling deep inside of her stomach.

“Look, I just wanted to say… that whatever you and I had in Mexico, We should just forget about it and keep our distance from each other. I think that would be better. Right?”

 _Ouch_ Emma could feel herself flinch at his statement. “Right yeah I umm I,” tears threatened her emerald eyes. She looked to the ground and tried to collect her thoughts. She would be damned if she’d let a man make her cry. Looking back up her eyes met Killian’s across the lot. He gave her a quizzical look as if to ask ‘are you alright?’ Emma turned her attention back to Neal “I un-”

“Swan! Get over here! We’re loading the girls from Limo 3 onto the carriage,” One of the other employees called.

Relief washed over her when she heard the call.

“Welp, that’s me, gotta go,” She informed before practically sprinting to where she was needed. She met Cindy at the Limousine counting off the ladies as Emma loaded them into the carriage. As she was doing so, Zelena caught her arm.

“Forgive for being direct, Emma, but is there perhaps something that you could tell me that you could tell me that would help me leave a lasting impression?” The red head asked eyes hopeful.

“He’s a very umm sexual person… I say if you want to make an impression, then just go for it. Y’know? Do something with some shock value!”

\---------------------------------

**_Killian_ **

_Bloody Hell_ , Killian was growing tired of these meet and greets. He couldn’t see himself growing to fancy any of these women. It was simply awful.

His mood quickly lifted as he watched Emma jog out from behind the carriage and stand beside him.

“Are you alright, Love, you seemed to be in some distress earlier.” He asked remembering the sullen expression she had worn when speaking with that other man.

“Don’t worry about it,” She replied distractedly adjusting her earpiece, “It’s got nothing to do with you.”

Killian opened his mouth to argue, but was quickly interrupted by the cameraman’s call

“Rolling!”

The final carriage rolled forward catching Killian’s attention. He watched the shapely high heeled leg poked itself out of the carriage’s open door with simple roll of the ankle as if to beckon him forward.

He watched as the rest of the Woman emerged from the carriage she had long red hair that fell past her shoulder in soft waves, and a slow seductive walk that momentarily mesmerized the poor bachelor

 “Hello,” She crooned “I’m Zelena” Killian took her hand, and welcomed her to the competition much like he had with all of the others

He had expected that be the end of their interaction… but she had other plans.

Her long thin fingers curled around his collar before heaving him forward and crashing her lips against his own. The only word he could use to describe her kiss was enthusiastic. Her lips slid and moved against his trying to get him to comply. He felt her hand slide down his back to grip his behind which she gave a hearty squeeze.

 Zelena pulled away just enough so that their foreheads were still touching “and it is a _pleasure_ to meet you,” she whispered before giving his bum one final firm slap before trotting on.

Killian licked his lips trying to get the feeling of Zelena’s kiss off of them. _How is it possible for a woman to taste bitter?_ He thought to himself.

 

 


	4. The Whole 'Brazen Blonde Ball Buster' Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me so long to post! I've had to take some time off for finals, and to do CSSS on tumblr.  
> So a few things before y'all start reading...  
> I'd like to warn you that I didn't spend a lot of time editing because I wanted to post it ASAP.  
> I'd also like to tell you that I've gotten some friends to Beta for me so it may be a sorta kinda long (but not that long) time before I post again because I may be going back and editing some earlier chapters!  
> And finally, I would like to once again ask for you to please comment and give me some feedback which is always appreciated!  
> Thanks so much for reading, you have many choices in fanfiction reading and I'm glad you've chosen mine. I hope you enjoy!! :)

_Killian_

All 27 of the eager contestants stood lined up along the edge of the candle lit pool. The gentle night breeze wafting the faint scent of the overly extravagant floral arrangements, and swaying the airy chiffon fabric of their expensive ball gowns.

Across the glittering waters stood David and very disinterested Killian. The urge to flee and free himself from the figurative shit storm he had gotten himself pulled into was always present in the back of Killian’s mind, but the daggers the fiery blonde producer had been shooting at him with her green eyes convinced him that doing so would not be prudent.

“Good evening ladies,” The always charming host spoke greeted the young women on the other side of the pool.  “It is my pleasure to welcome you to _Once Upon a Time_ ,” his statement was met with a scattered mix of clapping and cheering brought about by the contestants which quickly died out, giving David the opportunity to speak once again “Now, As you well know, you were each given a diamond bracelet as a gift to welcome you into the completion,” He took another well-rehearsed pause to create the mass amount of suspense possible without it seeming like over kill. “These bracelets are a symbol of your place in the competition and in the heart of our own handsome gent Killian,” this received Killian a series of wolf whistles and applause that would make a normal lad blush. “But unfortunately,” he continued causing the cheers to once again become silent. “By the end of the night we will need to reclaim a few of those bracelets because for some, tonight will be your first and final night on _Once._ Now, without further ado I would like introduce your suitor: Killian Jones.”

His introduction was met with another round of cheers, which dissipated as the waiters came out and the ladies were ushered over to the patio area by various members of the crew. His own producer, the lovely Miss Swan, walked over and checked his mic, and fiddled with its wiring whilst clearly ignoring the commands Killian could tell were coming from her ear piece.

She still seemed to be in a sour mood which he chalked up to her earlier confrontation with that camera man.

“Is it just me or do you think Regina is taking whole ‘fairy tale’ thing too far? In one night I have met Ariel, Elsa, Mulan, and Rapunzel,” He asked deciding that it would be easier to spark a conversation with her if he kept it show related.

“We have an intern named Cinderella, but we call her Cindy though” the blonde divulged as she combed down one of the many fly-aways that always plagued his mop of dark hair. He rather liked the way her fingers felt when woven through his hair.

“That’s bloody fantastic is what that is … Who does that make you Swan? The Swan princess? Should I call you Odette?” he offered jokingly as she escorted him over to his, currently many, girlfriends.

“Are you prince charming then?” Swan retorted most likely referencing the fact that he was supposed to be one of those poor girl’s ‘prince’.

 _Yup, their own personal, drunken, womanizing ‘prince’._ The thought warranted itself a small chuckle, which caught Emma’s attention

“I actually think that seems more like a David title,” Killian replied, noting the blonde’s piqued interest, “I’m far too much of a rebel to be a royal. Perhaps I would be a thief or a pirate,” the bachelor further explained.

“If you changed you prosthetic, you could be Captain Hook.” Emma told him playfully.

 Killian could feel his smile fading from the plastic grin he’d been wearing for the cameras to something much more genuine.

The two stopped in front of the welcome party where the contestants spoke excitedly amongst themselves. “Alright, so over the next few hours, mingle with the fangirls and try to find the ones you want to keep around,” Emma told him before giving him the final push that threw him into the crowd,

He felt as though he were a bucket of chum into a shiver of hungry sharks.

 “Go get ‘em.” She called before leaving him to be devoured

The gaggle of girls quickly flocked to him in the hopes of gaining their 5 minutes of face time with him which he normally spent talking about mind numbingly boring things like ‘oh I love your dress’ or ‘ooo _CrossFit_ that sounds interesting’, and if Killian had to hear one more of the vapid beauty queens tell him how going gluten free could change his life he would bloody scream.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Emma_

Regina’s voice sounded in her ear piece, “Alright Swan, I want you to protect the wifeys, Elsa and that Swimsuit model Ruby, starve our villain Zelena and ply her with alcohol until she’s Hangry enough to be considered lethal, and I want the rest to pickle. Other than that, you know the drill: cash bonuses for nudity, cat fights, and 911 calls. Let’s have a good season.”

Emma confirmed that she’d heard the other woman’s briefing as she watched the even begin to enfold. From her perch on one of the manor’s many balconies. She could easily spot her least favorite red head tossing back shots and running her long fingered hands down Killlian’s chest in her not so subtle attempt at flirting, which seemed to make him look more nervous than intrigued, the scene made her laugh. Her watchful eye then traveled to Mal who had been dumping out all the drinks the waiters handed her in an attempt to avoid drinking. She could see David the show’s host shamelessly flirting with the school teacher Mary Margaret, and lastly she noticed, Mulan the war hero, sitting by herself at a table on the outer edge of the festivities.

Emma froze when she saw it Ingrid walking over to the lonely woman.

 _No. no, no, no_ Emma thought as she heard the first few lines of their conversation coming over the sound system. “Ingrid no,” Emma warned as she hurried down the flight of stairs and pushed her way through the crowd. “I’m on it, just stand down” She continued hoping to stop the other woman before she, in true Ingrid fashion, took it too far. Her statement had been punctuated by Regina’s half- hearted protests, but of course she ignored all warnings and continues speaking.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Regina_

 Regina stood her post in the center of the bull pen eyes searching the monitors for film that she could deem even slightly useful in the episode’s final cut.

 _Honestly, do I have to spoon feed these people_? She thought quickly tiring of the shows lack of action.

“I have nothing,” Regina called into the walkie-talkie “I need all of you to get off your lazy asses and make something happen. Get me some one on one time. Get me some interviews. For the love of God, get me something that is better than this snooze fest.”

Ingrid’s voice was first to respond “I see Mulan in the corner I’ll go prep her”, and while a small part of Regina knew that letting Ingrid handle anything of a particularly delicate nature was risky… There was a much larger part of her that wanted to see how this whole situation would pan out.

She could hear Emma over the com system attempting to scare Ingrid off with a series of ‘No’s which Regina half-heartedly joined in on, just as it was too late to make any difference

She ordered one of the camera crew to record the confrontation, so she could see them on one of the screens. “Hi Mulan, I’m Ingrid,” The producer greeted as when she got to the table. She was currently clad in one of the wait staff’s uniforms attempting to blend in. “We talked on the phone a few times,” she added when she saw that the other woman didn’t remember her.

Recognition sparked on the Asian woman’s face soon after.

“Hey,” The contestant replied confusion clear in her tone, “You’re a waitress?” she asked taking in the producer’s attire.

“What?” the other woman asked before taking a moment to glance at her own clothing and realize that she was in fact wearing one of the waitress’s dresses. “Oh, right, it’s a disguise,” she explained. “I was actually chosen to manage you guys tonight but y’ know I wasn’t supposed to stand out when on camera.”

Regina could once again hear Emma’s voice over the com system telling the other woman to stand down, which Ingrid of course ignored.

The contestant wasn’t sure how to react so she offered the eager producer a response “That’s umm clever.” She turned her attention back to her apparently interesting martini glass as I to say ‘please leave’. When the girl realized that Ingrid was not leaving she let out an exasperated sigh, “Is there something else you would like to tell me?” she asked.

“What the hell are you doing?” Regina wondered aloud as she watched the two woman interacting on the screen.

“Well, I came to talk with you about your one on one with Killian,” Ingrid explained setting her drink tray on the small table.

“Why? Is something wrong?” She questioned once again making it apparent that she wanted the other woman to get to the point.

“No, no,” the producer attempted soothe, shaking her head to emphasize her point, “It’s just that, well umm, we _really_ want you to do well. So when you’re up there, say something that will stick. Just go up there and get right to the point”

“Point? It’s not like I came here with a list. I think it’s better to just introduce myself. Like a normal person would do on their first date,” Mulan reasoned.

Regina watched Ingrid pause as she searched for the correct way to say what she was going to say. Eventually the producer came up with: “Yeah well that might not go so well. We think that you should tell him about your little secret...”

“My what?” the contestant asked. “I don’t have any secrets,” she stammered nervously.

Ingrid let out a defeated sigh “We think you should tell him you’re a virgin. Some guys find it sexy, and we think it might make you seem more desirable than some of the others.”

At the figurative helm of her ship, Regina stood frozen, flabbergasted by the producer’s actions. Her hand moved to cover her agape mouth. She then let out an ‘ooo’ sound that was either impressed or shocked, she wasn’t entirely sure which. Regina then leaned back against one of the desks, and continued to watch the scene. Things had clearly become much more interesting

_Ask and you shall receive._

“Don’t get me wrong, we think it’s really great,” Ingrid offered reaching out to place a supportive hand on the girl’s shoulder. Which she quickly shrugged off.

Mulan looked horrified. Regina watched the girl sputter out some sort of response. It was something to the extent of: ‘That’s none of your business,’ and ‘My choices were not made to fulfil some man’s sexual fantasy’. Mulan’s horror then evolve into something that either resembled anger or sadness.  
 Regina was hoping sadness…tears would be great right now.

She could practically see the girl’s eyes begin to glisten with unshed tears “Come on baby, cry for me. Mama wants some TV magic.”

 “H-How do even know that?” the girl on the screen whispered lip quivering ever so slightly.

Executive producer Mills made no effort to hide her delight as she watched the two tear steam down the girl’s face “Oh! Oh! We got the tears! Push in with cam A!” she ordered then adding a quick “and get cam B to show me the Brittbitch.”

On a separate screen she watched the read head swirl the remnants of her beverage around in the mostly emptied glass.

“Aww I wonder why samurai princess over there is so upset,” She questioned sarcastically before leaning into whoever she had been sitting next to  and whispering, “It’s probably because someone told her just how bloody ugly that jumpsuit she’s wearing _really_ is,” she then punctuated her statement with a drunken laugh and snort

Regina looked over to August who slapped the villain label underneath Zelena’s head shot, now adorned with a set of Expo marker devil horns and a goatee, on the contestant board.

She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at it, “Now _that_ ,” the EP stated a sinful smile spreading across the woman’s dark lips, “Is a good bitch. Offensive, rude, and out for herself. Thank you Zelena for being such a horrible person.”

“Takes one to know one” Cindy mumbled as she shuffled together a stack of papers avoiding her superior’s sharp gaze.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two were siblings … Your majesty,” August added.

Regina decided that it wasn’t worth her time to argue so she merely turned her attention back to the screens in which she saw Emma escorting Mulan away from Ingrid.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Emma_

Emma placed a guiding hand on the contestant’s back as she escorted her to a more private place.

“Was it supposed to be funny?” Mulan ask her tone tinged with her apparent hurt. “I shared that with you in confidence, and you used it to make me into some big joke.”

“Look it wasn’t said to offend you just-- calm down” The producer attempted to soothe, throwing her most sound ‘Bitchface’ in Ingrid’s direction when the girl’s back was turned. To her, it felt as though the more she spoke, and tried to claw herself out of the hole that her fellow producer had dug her into the deeper inside she ended up.

It quickly became clear to Emma that her words alone were not enough, so she decided to bring in a third party.

As Mulan stomped off to sit under the gazebo, Emma scanned the crowd and easily found Killian amongst the partiers. She beckoned him with a small wave of her hand. He seemed grateful for the reprieve as he hurriedly move through the crowd and made his way over to her.

“What is it, love?” He asked.

With a nod of head, Emma gestured to the nettled woman currently sitting on her lonesome, “I need you to talk to her,” She requested.

“What happened? She seems upset,” Killian inquired, eyes on the other girl.

Emma side eyed the man wondering if his concern was genuine or not, “She is. Now go”

A quip bubbled just beneath the surface of the man’s response, but instead he replied with a simple, yet sarcastic ‘As the Lady wishes’ before walking over and taking a seat on the bench beside Mulan.

She had to give the guy credit, he knew his way around women… maybe not her, but he seemed calm and attentive with just the right amount of humor to lightened Mulan’s mood. Every now his eyes would flick up to hers over the girl’s shoulder as if he were searching for approval. Which she offered with a soft smile.

The evening continued through the evening in much the same fashion. Emma being told to run all over god’s creation grabbing contestants that Regina deemed ‘screen time worthy’, and offering them up for the one on ones likes lambs to the slaughter.

Emma watched him go from sincere to plastic man in a manner of minutes. Eventually, His false sentiments that were at least well thought out were reduced to a series of practiced responses swapped out between contestants. Granted, his reaction to Maleficent giving him her daughter’s rattle as a token to show him how excited the child was to ‘meet her new daddy’ was priceless. Granted the moment ended as soon as Regina told her that it was becoming ‘as dry as Mal’s shriveled up old pussy’.

Emma had been at this job a long time, and somehow this show’s lack of tact never ceased to amaze her…

Next she was told to fetch the model, Ruby, who came along, a pleased smile playing across her heavily painted features. She sat down beside Killian, who quickly perked up at the sight of the scantily clad contestant.

Emma tried to ignore their nauseating flirtations, rather unsuccessfully, but after hearing Ruby talk about horse riding, and how much she loved the feel of a powerful beast between her legs. Emma was done.

 Emma pulled her ear piece free and let out a steady breath, hoping to ease her troubled mind.

However, her moment of peace was short lived. She could already catch the faint rattling of Regina’s voice coming through the abandoned piece of plastic. _A producer’s work is never done_ , She thought putting it back into place only to hear Regina’s voice yelling at her to get him because ‘Ruby’s meant to be marriage material, not a trashy one fuck friend’

Emma’s eyes flew open, and sure enough the two were going at it like horny teenagers.

Emma jogged over to the gazebo and caught the otherwise occupied man by his elbow and pulled him away from the alluring brunette who had been shoving her tongue down his throat.

“C’mon big boy, we need to talk” Emma muttered dragging him away.

He tossed Ruby a parting wink as Emma steered him to the pool house. Without a word she closed the door behind then. Her hands quickly went to work grazing along his waist.

“You know Love, if you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was ask. There’s no need to use my behavior as an excuse.” He teased jovially.

Emma scoffed at this.

It didn’t take her to find what she was looking for and show it to him “Your microphone, if you have it on they can hear everything we’re saying,” She pointed to the power switch and flipped it into the ‘off’ position.

Without thinking her fist flew out and connected with his upper left arm.

 “Ouch, what’d you do that for?!” Killian asked his good hand reaching to cover the spot that had met her fist.

“You know what,” She snapped accusingly. Killian seemed genuinely lost, so she explained, “What you and Ruby were doing, yeah, you can’t do that.”

“And pray tell is that exactly?” Killian crossed his arms this time disapproving of _her._

“Look, Killian, the first time we’re getting _anything_ remotely reading ‘chemistry’ from you, it’s only for Ruby, and you can’t fuck her on the first night,” Emma informed him.

“You bloody well asked me for chemistry, and _now_ you’re telling me that I am in fact _not_ allowed to be attracted to one of the hottest girls here. That is ridiculous.” Killian stated in disbelief.

“That is show business,” Emma replied, decidedly ignoring his bullshit

A moment of silence passed between the two as a flirtatious grin spread across his handsome face.

“What?” Emma questioned wondering what his change of face was about.

“Nothing, it’s just I’m not used to women like you, who talk to me the way you do,” Killian flirted.

“Oh why? Because you’re so devastatingly handsome with your smoldering eyes and chiseled chest?” Emma offered jabbing him with her finger.

“And the accent helps too,” he added teasingly

“Right” Emma answered elongating the ‘I’ to illustrate her disbelief.

 “I have to admit I do enjoy the whole brazen blonde ball-buster thing,” He teased, as though he were a cat playing with a mouse, “It’s sexy. You must be one Hell of a woman, Swan.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” The producer mused.

“Perhaps I would.” Killian replied easing himself closer to her.

“Don’t do that,” Emma warned taking step away from him. Emma Swan may have been mant things, but a mouse was not one of them.

She glanced around the small space feeling an idea dawn on itself on her.  Her attention him “Hey Killian, being that you dislike the current state of things so much, how would you like to do something that will really upset the status quo?”

 “I’m all ears, Love.”


End file.
